Struggling with consistency is a place none of us want to be in.
It’s something that most if not all of us will encounter in our lives. When we know we need to change something to grow and improve our lives, but we can’t make it stick, we can get stuck in a viscous thought cycle and convince ourselves we’re just not meant to improve in that area.
I’ve been there at multiple points in my personal and business life and it’s not a great place to be. But I wouldn’t change it because it led to me discovering that it is cycle that can be broken, by anyone.
In this post we'll cover the three main ingredients to stop struggling with consistency in any area.
There is not a person on this planet who (unless hindered by a medical condition) cannot get into great shape, improve diet, get smarter, get more effective, improve relationships, be more successful. If you tell yourself you can’t do any of these things, you’re wrong.
The three key components to not struggling with consistency and making long term change are:
1 - Move towards success not away from pain
2 - Have a vision and a why
3 - Find the right process/guidance
If you struggle with consistency in anything, it will be down to the lack of one of these three reasons, nothing else.
Why do we struggle with consistency
First of all it’s important to understand that things we struggle with consistency in are things outside of our comfort zone. If something is in our comfort zone then by nature we will not struggle to be consistent with it.
Why would we move out of our comfort zone at all and why do we feel we need to make a new habit or activity consistent in the first place?
1. Move toward success not away from pain
There are two main reasons we feel the need to move ourselves outside of our comfort zone.
1 - To move away from pain - Reactive - Quick action low consistency
2 - To move towards success - Proactive - Calculated action high consistency
When I am engaging in a new but challenging activity such as exercise for a proactive reason I am much more likely to be consistent and to make it stick. The process for this will be along the lines of:
Have a vision of where I want to go -> Research the best solutions for this -> Engage, work towards goals -> Feel motivated by my success with a process that fits into my life, continue to improve -> Set new goals -> Grow - This is a linear ever improving process
When I am engaging a new but challenging activity such as exercise for a reactive reason I am much less likely to be consistent with it and to make it stick. The process for this will be along the lines of:
Feel pain/discomfort/unhappiness -> Find quick solution for this that promises fast results -> Decrease pain -> Feel relief, quick fix program no longer relevant, return to old behaviour -> Feel pain/discomfort/unhappiness -> and so on - This is a circular non improving process
So the key lies in approaching the area of our life we need to improve in a proactive way.
How do we do that?
2. Create a vision and a why
To be moving towards success you need to actually have a vision of what that success is, and that vision needs to have a reason behind it, a why.
Before you commit to any new activity/routine that you have struggled with before, create a vision with a why. If you can’t do this, then don’t engage in the activity because you’re not truly doing it fo you.
Let’s take diet for example:
Reactive no vision approach - I’m fed up of being overweight so I’m going to eat better.
Approach - Quick results, skip meals, extreme diets, cut out everything I enjoy.
Result - Lose some weight, feel a bit better, feel fed up not eating enough, put weight back on. Tell myself this healthy life just isn’t for me.
Proactive vision & why approach - I want to live 10lbs lighter than I am now because I have much more energy and self confidence at that weight. This will help me be more productive and feel more confident networking and presenting.
Approach - Search out coach or system that helps maintaining this weight consistent long term and able to fit in around my life.
Result - Lose weight, feel more energy and more confidence, enjoy the process and feel in control. Know I can still enjoy myself, tell myself eating healthy isn’t that hard really.
Without the vision and the why, you’ll find the wrong approaches and you won’t make it stick. Without the vision and the why, you’ll always struggle with consistency.
3. Find the right process or and support
So the final piece is finding the right processes/solutions and guidance for you. The areas you struggle with in consistency are areas you probably need help with.
Once you are focussed on moving towards success, you have a clear vision and a strong why, you'll be in a much stronger position to find the right solutions for you. You will also be able to better recognise the ones that clearly don't make the cut.
Constantly choosing solutions/mentors/programs that don't provide the results you desire is damaging because it can put you into that negative thought loop where you believe the problem is you, when it's not.
Try applying all three of these components to any area of your life you feel you struggle to be consistent with.
If you would like to chat to someone about what you can do to improve drop me message using the details below.
Remember, you and or anyone else do not struggle with consistency, you or they just haven't been taking the right approach.
Want to fast track your consistency and success?
At Better Happy we've created the Live.Life.Better Blueprint to help busy driven people achieve more across all areas of their life with less stress. We take you through the whole approach for life ranging from life vision, to goals to movement, nutrition and sleep.